I suppose it may be worthwhile to take a quick step back and clarify why I keep obnoxiously writing posts on a blog instead of just doing a build thread on any number of appropriate forums. Well, there are a few reasons. I’ll list them here. In list form. Read More
Category: Engine swaps
Fünf Null Part XI: Everything Needed to Install a 5.0 V8 in your E36 M3 –or- “Total Assimilation Part 2”
Last time we visited I began the arduous task of cataloging everything necessary to combine a Ford 5.0 engine with a BMW E36. This week we skip the snappy intro and get right into it. Read More
Fünf Null Part X: Everything Needed to Install a 5.0 V8 in your E36 M3 –or- “Total Assimilation Part 1”
Welcome back to another episode of This Old, Dilapidated, Beat-on, POS Car. Last time we assembled and wired up the ECU with a little help from our good friend Mr. Soldering Iron and his accomplice Toxic Lead Vapors. This week we’ll walk through how to mate a burly, brutish American engine with the lithe, willing German body of an M3. Read More
Fünf Null Part IX: The Final (ECU) Solution –or- “Das Megaspritzen”
The E36 M3: A masterpiece of engineering that could only have been created by the kind of mind able to focus on a singular purpose to the exclusion of all other consequences. Unfortunately, the example that I found had suffered unfathomable, intentional abuse at the hands of a ruthless tyrant that brought the engine to its knees faster than a central European country in September. So as usual, it was the Americans to the rescue with a crude but incredibly powerful, highly effective solution. More than midway though the project, I was tying up loose ends and approaching the day I could finally fire up the car and drive it. A sort of Drive Day, if you will. D-Day for short. Read More
Fünf Null Part VIII: Mounting the Engine –or- “Wednesday Night”
The internet is simultaneously home to an unfathomable wealth of information without limits and few good men that can appreciate that fact. Trusting something the internet tells you is risky business, far and away from a safe bet. But here I was, despite what the others said, about to try and fit a legend of an American V8 engine into a BMW M3; you don’t have to be Rain Man to know what a cocktail of bad ideas that would be, but I was on a mission. Impossible you say? I’m losin’ it? Until somebody taps me on the shoulder and shows me the color of money, I’m going to keep my eyes wide shut, breathe in the scent of fresh magnolias, and fall off the edge of tomorrow into oblivion. Tropic Thunder. Read More
Fünf Null Part VII: Replacement Engine Prep –or- “Port and Polishing a Turd”
BMW M3. Ford 5.0 engine. T5 transmission. All of the major players were ready, now it was time to get that lump of outdated, underpowered, worn out American cast iron ready to shove into place. Read More
Fünf Null Part VI: Replacement Engine Acquisition –or- “More Bad Decisions”
Many build logs have been written detailing impeccable craftsmanship, exquisite attention to detail, and unmatched performance. This is not one of them. This is a continuation of my project involving shoving an outdated, underpowered engine into a rusty, beat up car. In the last installment, I detailed pulling the car’s original, destroyed engine out. Read More
Size Comparison: BMW S52 I6 vs. Ford 302 V8 -or- “I can’t believe you crammed a V8 in there!”
We’re taking a short break from your regularly-scheduled build thread to address the concerns brought up by people that can’t be bothered to do 38 seconds of Google searching.
When I tell someone that I’m installing a Ford 5.0 V8 into my ’97 BMW M3, the most common reactions are:
- “How are you cramming that huge engine into a little BMW???”
- “You’ll completely destroy the balance of the car!!!”
- “SHOULDDA LS-SWAPPED IT, BRO!!”
- “That’s very nice, sir, but did you want the combo meal or just the sandwich?”
HAHAHA just kidding. As an introvert, I’d never willingly initiate a conversation with someone and admit that I own a BMW. Read More
Fünf Null Part V: Donor Teardown –or- “Warning: Mechanical Gore Inside”
Blah blah blah I’m swapping a Ford 5.0 into a beat-up M3, read my last post here, etc. etc. ANYWAYS. The car was in my possession. I had determined that the body was a pile of junk and by paying any amount of money for this car, I had probably overpaid. Read More
Fünf Null Part IV: Donor Inspection –or- “The Good, The Bad, and The ‘Oh ****’”
I bought an M3. It cost me $2450. What kind of M3 can you get for $2450? Not a good one, but an M3 nonetheless. Given that my super thorough pre-purchase inspection consisted entirely of looking at the car from several feet away and not questioning anything the seller said, I was in for some surprises when I got the car home and actually took a closer look. Read More